Rise Up, Gather ‘Round

One of the most disappointing moments of my adult life was finding out that “Gunter Gleiben Glauchen Globen” is not how you count to four in German. I’ve had plenty of childhood illusions shattered, but that one stung. Mostly because I used to hang around online with a bunch of German guys, and I’m sure I more than once made a joke about knowing some German and then quoted those four “words.” It’s never fun realizing some people were laughing at you and not with you. 

The universe being a place of infinite balance, one of the best moments of my life was realizing that The Kurgan in Highlander was quoting Def Leppard while hanging out in the church and being mean to priests, nuns, and Scotsmen. 

 “I have something to say

It’s better to burn out

Than fade away!”

If you bounce around the internet, some people will say he’s quoting Neil Young. Def Leppard might have been, but it’s the “I have something to say” bit that tips the Kurgan in favor of the British rockers. Besides, look at the guy. Any dude wearing that much leather in 1985 was not listening to Neil Young. 

Both of those lines come from Def Leppard’s hit “Rock of Ages,” and both still give me a thrill when I hear them. The song was the second single off of Def Leppard’s breakthrough album “Pyromania,” one of the all-time greatest hard rock albums of all time. I’ve never fully considered them heavy metal, but if you do, go ahead and call it one of the greatest heavy metal albums of all time. It works either way. 

This was the song that introduced me to the genre of rock songs about rock and roll, and I have been in love with it ever since. It might be my favorite sub-genre of rock, right after Clash songs about being in the Clash. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of this type of song, including around 50% of AC/DC’s catalog, but of all of them, this is the king. There is nothing deep about the lyrics, no subtlety, no nuance, just Joe Elliot saying “Rock” as many times as he can in 4:07. 

In this day and age, when rock has been relegated to the bench in the game of popular music, back in 1983, it was still playing power forward on the charts. In 1983 alone, you had Kill em All from Metallica, Bark at the Moon from Ozzy, Holy Diver from Dio, Shout at the Devil from Motley Crue, Lick It Up from Kiss, Metal Health from Quiet Riot, and Piece of Mind from Iron Maiden. That’s just the hard stuff! Bowie, REM, Journey, U2, ZZ Top, Bowie, Talking Heads, and more all released classics. In the midst of all that power, Def Leppard released an all-time shout-along anthem to the very thing that was happening all around them: people rocking out. 

They had primed the pump of their success with another single off the album, a few months earlier, “Photograph,” which charted a little bit higher, and in my memory was a bit more ubiquitous. I think you can make a case that “Photograph” is the better song, but not in my rankings. Part of the reason it was around more was the video. 

The video for “Photograph” has the band playing on a soundstage, intercut with some clips of what are meant to look like old movies, while surrounded by ’80s-style video vixens. Joe Elliot is wearing the iconic Union Jack tank top and scarf, and the whole thing makes them look rather epic. The Rock of Ages video is…not that. 

The video begins with four guys in monk robes, an owl, a woman with weird face makeup playing chess, and then suddenly tied to a tree. Elliot’s shirt is bright yellow with the words ‘It’s better to burn out than fade away” written in hard-to-read red with a picture of what MIGHT be a guillotine in the middle. Points for the shirt, but it’s not as memorable as the Union Jack. Later on, he’s running around with a giant sword that eventually turns into a guitar. To put it in modern parlance, the whole thing is fucking goofy. If you go to the band’s official YouTube page, despite being available on YouTube, the official video isn’t there. This might be an oversight, but I wouldn’t be in a hurry to correct it. 

Despite all that, it’s not that far behind “Photograph’s” peak at #12. It got as high as 16 on the Billboard charts. Both hit #1 on the mainstream rock charts. Despite that, it was absolutely #1 in my personal chart. 

I was eight years old in 1983, and it was my holy grail. I have visceral memories of flipping around radio stations in hopes of hearing it. The main radio stations I listened to played hard rock, but not quite as often as I would like. 1983 was one of those years that, when you look back on it, it’s hard to believe how many legendary and enduring songs came out. Beyond the radio, MTV had really hit its stride as a taste-making force.

Growing up, we didn’t have cable until I was much older, so MTV was a treat we only got when we were elsewhere. My parents were divorced, and we’d spend weekends with my father. While on those weekends, he often went to get-togethers at colleagues’ and friends’ places. When he did, we usually ended up watching TV in the host’s bedroom, firmly out of the way. More often than not, this resulted in us having unregulated access to MTV and watching with rapt attention (and reading comics during the ads.)  There are so many videos from that time that are deeply ingrained in my memory, from “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” to “Thriller,” to “The Safety Dance.” Unfortunately, because it kind of sucked, “Rock of Ages” isn’t among them. If it were a better video, the song might have felt less like a miracle when it came on. A lot of my memories of what was popular and a hit come from those evenings.

We relied on the radio to hear the music we loved, and it always felt special when it came on. Our allowance wasn’t enough to buy a tape, but it was enough to buy a Star Wars figure or comic books, neither of which had the possibility of being delivered free via the 95.5’s Top 5 at 9, so choices got made. All of that made those times when it came on precious and thrilling. 

I didn’t own Pyromania until probably close to thirty years later. The first Def Leppard album I actually bought with my own money was “Hysteria” on tape, and then “Adrenalize” on CD. I didn’t keep up with the band after that, having had my tastes shift to punk, ska, grunge, and other genres, but I never lost my love of those early songs. 

1992 was another profound year in music for me. It was the year I’d first hear the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and so many more. ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ had long since relegated hard-rocking bands like Def Leppard to has-been status. The arc of musical history had shifted both on a broader level and a personal one. 

However, no one had bothered to inform Def Leppard that they were old news. At least on the night of October 27th, 1992, when I attended my first rock concert at the Brendan Byrne Arena in the Meadowlands of New Jersey. 

Playing in the center of the arena, on a 365-degree open stage, the band played a blistering set of songs from their latest album, Adrenalize, and older hits. Part of it was it being my first concert, part of it was bringing the woman I had an enormous crush on, and part of it was just a band that knew fully what they were doing, but it lives in my memory as one of the finest nights of my life. 

It’s impossible to forget hearing Joe Elliot shout “I’ve got something to say…” as they launched into this mythological song from my youth, and the whole arena singing along at the top of each and every lung as the band turned it into an extended sing-along. It may have been something of a eulogy at the time for an era that had passed, but that song endures.  

Rock of Ages, Still Rollin.